So at one point or another you’ve wondered why you keep attracting the wrong men. When it comes to relationships I find that most women buy into the idea that mister right is out there and you will find him and he will understand you and what you want and need. I’m here to tell you that the idea of mister right is a fairy tale and that most men have it in them to be “mister right” not just “mister right now”. I would also like you to know that you’re the one determining which “mister” he is.
You do not set the benchmark for how you’re treated consciously
Stop being the victim of disrespectful men who do not show up on time for dates, cheat, play games and get away with waffling in and out of a relationship as they see fit. People will treat you how you allow them to treat you, you set the benchmark. You determine whether a guy steps up to make you happy or whether he is just along for the ride in the short term. You might not currently set the benchmark on how you’re treated consciously. I’m hoping after reading this article you will look at the way men perceive you and realize why you aren’t being treated how you deserve to be treated.
You are self sacrificing
The key to earning respect is demanding it, you demand it by setting standards. Women tend to be self sacrificing, we will make concessions, allowances and compromise because that is the polite and caring thing to do. What most don’t realise is that in a new relationship the concessions could easily come across as a lack of standards. You need to set standards because they act as rules that people should follow when it comes to dealing with you. When people deal with you in a certain way it makes you feel valued and respected. Your standards could include that a man open the door for you, reply to texts immediately after they have been read, show up on time for dates and contact you as soon as he realises he is going to be late. These standards differ among women.
You make concessions for people
The reason why it is important for you to set standards for yourself is because standards prescribe to other people how it is that you want to be treated and it’ll show other people that you value yourself. The best way to get people to treat you with respect is to show them that you respect others and that you respect yourself. That’s why its important avoid making concessions for people. You might think that you’re doing it to avoid confrontation or you want to be drama free and therefore you allow people to treat you how they want instead of how you would like them to treat you.
Standards can be quite useless if you choose to make concessions with them and not have them adhere to everyone that you come across. If you let some man get away with not meeting you on time for a date or not replying to your messages when you know they’ve read it (or whatever standard that it is that you choose to set), that person is going to perceive you as the person who just lets things slide. That if someone doesn’t adhere to your standards its okay, because the person that you are making exceptions for does not know that they are the exception.
You keep the peace
I find that woman are scared of confrontation. They don’t want to say “No, you can’t treat me that way” or “No you cant just come and go as you please”. They feel like they need to be the ones who are keep the peace. The drama free, happy-go-lucky, fun people in order to attract a suitable partner. It’s those woman who do not command respect (regardless of the reason) who do not receive it.
In the dating world women are so scared to chase of potential partners that they allow the men to do what they want and treat them how the men see fit. Now I ask these women: “What is it that you are protecting when you’re allowing people to treat you like they want to treat you?” You are only setting yourself up for a bigger failure in the long run if you make concessions or neglect your standards because you might as well set your standards early on, find the people that are going to adhere to them and move on if those people decide not to. Instead of being stuck in a long, disrespectful, unhappy and eventually dead relationship.
You make yourself sexually available
I’ve also realised that in the dating world, women think that they need to make themselves seem sexually available to men in order to capture their interest. What are you doing out there dressing provocatively and sending nude pics of themselves to men? Please hear me, by doing this you are giving the man access to your body without requiring the guy to commit to you. That person is not going to be your “mister right”. You’re showing them that they don’t need to measure up to something in order to get into your pants.
It is possible to build a relationship on something that doesn’t involve having a man being sexually aroused by you. Surely you can be interesting enough by using your mind and humour instead of your body. As soon as you get naked for a man who doesn’t measure up, you lose his respect. By all means be sexy, be attractive but don’t be trashy. Perception is key and if your put yourself forward as trashy that is what you are prescribing for yourself. Trash begets trash.
In hindsight this article could’ve been called : “Standards… Get some”. So my advice would be, take a long hard look at what it is that you want in a man and prescribe that every man you meet treat you that way. If they don’t then you know they are not the person for you, so move on swiftly. If a man sees you have standards he will crave to adhere to that. If he wants to be in your life and he wants more than something quick and meaningless then he will actually keep up to your standards, no matter how absurd these standards might seem.